CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
