kristin has been a bad kristin
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
