I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
we're making bets on your personal life
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize