I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
how does that bad decision feel?
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