The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
