Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
