real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Im part way to drunk.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
