I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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