I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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