She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
