That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
