Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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