3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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