doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
