My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize