life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
