Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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