Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
