Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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