Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
