Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
