Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
