We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
