I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
