a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
