why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
