I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
love makes seman taste better
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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