ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
