do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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