yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Sorry about my life...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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