remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
