'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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