we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
