im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
