Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
