the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
