I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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