i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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