I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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