i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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