with your own penis?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
