Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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