She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
