don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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