Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
