so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
