can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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