She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
