I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He shit in the fireplace
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
