yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
