Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
