just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He felt like a one man threesome
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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