got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
