After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
