halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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