dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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