I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
