I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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