Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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