Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
