We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
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