no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize